In their Shoes

Like most people, I’ve been caught up in the Olympics fever this week.  Normally, to save time, I pick a few sports I like to binge and catch the highlights on others, but this year I found myself watching a lot more (I even watched some Curling and Ice Dancing).  Clearly, I have too much free time. 

For many of the athletes, the path to the games was over a decade long, often battling physical injuries and personal tragedies along the way.  Once there, all their effort, time and sacrifices come down to one contest, a make or break to achieve their Olympic goal.  I can’t image the pressure of that competition, the overwhelming joy of beating their Olympic goal or the crushing despair of failing to perform to their own expectations. 

A couple of years ago I set a goal of running one more Boston Marathon before Parkinson’s stole my ability to do it.   I had run Boston at least once in every decade since my 20’s and this would be a chance to sneak one in in my 70’s.  For two years I trained daily, watched my diet (except for ice cream), and planned out the logistics for the race (hotels, getting an official entry number, etc.).   A little over 2 months before the race, kidney problems and a bout of sepsis robbed me of my shot.   I remember the overwhelming feeling of disappointment.  I know some people will say “get over it, it’s just a race”, and I have (offering them a polite middle finger). But just like the Olympic athlete, win or lose, we can’t understand, really understand, what it’s like unless we’ve been there.

That’s true for families of children with cancer as well.  All the stories I can give of the challenges the families face, the months and years of worries and bills and pain and disappointments pale before the reality of living it.  It’s also true that the joy and relief of successful results or unexpected support when you really need it most is beyond words.   That’s what Help in the Nick of Time tries to do., to be there to help when it’s needed most.

As for my running, I’m still slogging away (literally slogging this winter).  It may not be the Boston Marathon, but I will be out chasing my Marathon Challenge goal to support Help in the Nick of Time.

 

 

The "Why" Question

 

Ever notice that we use "Why" more often than any other word when asking a question?   We could use when, or who, or what but no….it’s more often Why.   I have a young grandson who has turned asking Why into an artform.   Every Why answer becomes the raw material for a new Why question.

 

Answering Why questions can be challenging.  Sometimes the answers are too painful to even express.  Sometimes the answer just leads to more questions.  And sometimes a question has no good answer.  I have a bunch of those for God when I meet him.

 

I often get the Why question about my running.   Normally the easiest answer is just turning it around and asking, “Why don’t you?”.   Unsatisfied with my non-answer, over time the question has become more qualified….”Why do you run so far?  Why do you run outside in this cold weather?  Why do you run at your age? “

 

I thought about it the other day (during a run of course) and came up with a lot of answers but these were the top 3:

-         I feel better after I run than before and I seldom feel as good on days I don’t run.  Throughout my life it has been a bell weather  for my health.

-         It is something I can do that allows me to help others through Help in the Nick of Time.

-         It creates shared experiences with my family.

So the short answer is running allows me to feel good, spend time with my family and help others.   Who can knock that?

 

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When the Spirit MOVES You

 

I recently moved, again.  The 4^th time in 11 years.  No, I don’t have a sadistic streak, I get no pleasure from the stress of packing up years of accumulated cruft, selling a house, buying a house, and moving to a new area where I have to establish new friends and doctors.    So it’s not that I enjoy moving, my life just seems to have taken a path that makes me a bit of a nomad.  Despite the challenges, each move has brought new joys, friends, and experiences, and brought me closer to my children and grandchildren. 

 

My running has mirrored that path, each move bringing me new experiences and friends.   Even more important to me, it has allowed shared experiences with my family.  This morning for instance I went for a run with my twin grandsons.  They are now in high school and are accomplished runners but they were kind enough to slow down to match my “old person pace”….a bit of a mercy run.  Over the course of more than an hour they listened patiently to my stories of the old days of my running and the Boston Marathon.    As most of us older people know, reminiscing about the old days is just what we do.  It was a shared experience that I wouldn’t have had without moving to be close to them.  It makes all the pain of moving worthwhile.

 

As we embark on another year of Marathon Challenge to help children with cancer and their families, I remind myself that much like a move, the benefits far exceed the work.  

  

 

Leaning on Family

 This year’s marathon challenge has been one of the toughest in the last 18 years, both physically and mentally.  Coming off last year’s medical problems and the disappointment of not being able to run in the Boston Marathon I figured this year has got to be better.  It was not to be.  My body has never fully recovered from the kidney/sepsis setbacks and it appears to have advanced my Parkinson symptoms.   As a result I had to lean on my family even more this year to complete the challenge. Their response was overwhelming and heartwarming.

Have I mentioned I am blessed with 9 wonderful grandchildren?   The credit for that of course goes to their 6 loving parents (and I like to believe a modicum of credit from us grandparents).   Among the parents, all are athletes of accomplishment, 4 have run marathons and 2 have run the Boston Marathon with me.  It’s no surprise that the 4 oldest grandchildren are top runners on their school cross country team and the next youngest 2 while not old enough yet to join the school team, are also runners.  

All of them joined in to help me crank out the miles including the 3 and 5 year-olds who ran/walked with me for a mile (actually they would sprint ahead then stop and wait for me to catch up).  I don’t have words to express the joy of running with my grandkids, exchanging stories about school, friends, activities and sports.    Equally emotional was having the family gather in Nick’s memory to help children and their families struggling with cancer.  Who wouldn’t tear up when the 3 and 5 year-olds handed me their money from their Easter egg hunt to honor Nick and help the sick children.

 

Another Marathon Challenge in the books.   We met our family goal of 50 miles and God willing I will be out there again next year.   I am still in need of donations to meet this years goals, if you haven’t given yet we can use your help. 

As always, thank you for your support.

 

Running Like a Turtle

I was recently asked what it is like to run with Parkinson’s.  I wasn’t surprised by the question but I found myself struggling to come up with a good description.   Ultimately what came to mind was the movie Fifty First Dates.

Bear with me for a minute.  I’m not a big fan of Rom-Coms (Romantic Comedies).  The plots tend to be rote and predictable (boy meets girl, love at first sight or they hate each other, life either gets in the way or brings them together, then happily ever after).    The exception for me is Fifty First Dates.   In it Adam Sandler meets Drew Barrymore who has a traumatic brain injury that prevents her from creating new memories. Every day when she wakes up in her mind she is back before her accident.   And every day Adam must woo her all over again.

Running with Parkinson’s is kind of like that.   On many mornings when I get up, it feels like my body has forgotten how to move.   The muscle memory is still there but for some reason the brain can’t seem to find it.  Kind of like Alzheimer’s for the muscles.   Some days are better than others but every day requires some level of retraining to reestablish the connection between the brain and the muscles.   That translates into a lot of warm up and spending the first few miles reteaching the body how to move.   On the best days that connection gets reestablished but slower than an old dial up modem.   It doesn’t help that one side moves slower than the other making my running look more like a “zombie shuffle”. 

So, where are we on the Marathon Challenge?  Again this year I’ll be leaning on my family to help me complete the distance.   I haven’t recovered from last year’s kidney/sepsis challenges but I still have a few miles left in me and running/jogging/walking with my children and grandchildren is an inspiration for me.   That, and the help I get from all of you in supporting the children fighting cancer.  Their marathon is much more challenging than mine.

So, in two week I’ll be out there again, this time running like a turtle.

Putting a Face on it

Ever wonder when you contribute to a charity, where your money goes or what kind of an impact it has?  Instead of blogging about running this week I thought I’d pass a long some stories of the lives you’ve touched through your support of Help in the Nick of Time.

Help in the Nick of Time funds a number of efforts to help families that are struggling with childhood cancer.   The two biggest programs, executed in conjunction with our partner One Mission, are the Junior Good Box program and the Never Alone Fund. 

The Good Box program sends age-appropriate boxes of toys, games, crafts, and stuffed animals to the children in the midst of fighting cancer.  It is a treasure chest of joy and distraction when a child is dealing with the painful, boring, and isolating process of cancer treatment.

The Never Alone fund targets helping families deal with the unexpected and often devastating issue that come up during treatment.   This could be as simple as the treatment. funds for a babysitter so a single mom can leave a sibling home when going to the hospital or more critical like money for a parent’s place to stay near the hospital, or funds to fix that old car that’s the lifeline to get to the hospital and doctor visits.

This past year with your help we sent over 80 Good Boxes to children ranging in age from 1 to 18 and covering 31 states.   Almost half these children have Leukemia, one of most difficult forms of cancer.    The thank you notes from parents are heartwarming but these pictures tell the story even better.

 

The Never Alone fund was also busy this year, helping families facing difficult life situations while fighting cancer.  These included helping with car repairs to get back and forth to treatment, dealing with short term rental needs, and in one case helping a family who lost everything in a fire.

Hopefully this has helped put some faces and stories to what Help in the Nick of Time and One Mission are doing with what you contribute.  100% of what is raised goes to helping these families.  Your support will smooth out the bumps in the road for families and put smiles on the faces of children as they go about the task of fighting childhood cancer.   You should be proud.

The WHY Dilemma

Not too long ago I had a conversation with my 5-year-old grandson who has a particular affinity for the word “Why”.    I enjoy his unbound curiosity for understanding why things are the way they are, especially when that curiosity is not aimed at me.   It’s not that I mind answering the non-stop why questions, it’s more that I know when we are 4 “whys” deep on a topic I inevitably will reach a question that exceeds my knowledge base.   Take the following exchange from last fall:Me:  Let’s go blow the leaves off the lawn (he loves using tools)O: Why do we need to blow them off the lawn?

Me: So they won’t cause bare spots?

O: Why will they cause bare spots?

Me:  Because they will kill the grass.

O:  Why will they kill the grass?

Me: How about we take the dog for a walk instead.

There are several technics I’ve honed to get out of this cycle.  There’s the tried-and-true deflection…” Good question, ask your (dad, mom, grandma)”.  This works particularly well when they ask where babies come from.   Then there’s the distraction method…” oh, look at the time, I think Grandma has cookies waiting for us)”.  Finally, there is always the option to make up an answer.  I find these days kids beyond the age of 6 know how to check an answer with Alexa or Google so it’s best not to give an answer that leaves them with the impression you are becoming senile.

Over the holidays my 4-year-old granddaughter was watching me try to tie my running shoes and she asked me why my hand shakes and why my movements are so slow.   I panicked thinking I’m on the verge of a series of “whys” if I answer wrong might scare or confuse a 4-year-old.   I explained I had a sickness in my brain that makes it hard to do some things.  She thought about that for a bit and then asked “Does it hurt when you run”.  I told her it does sometimes.  Then she asked the big WHY…Why do you keep running?

It's a simple question with a very complex answer.  Is it because it’s what I’ve chosen to keep my memory of my son alive through Help in the Nick of Time fund raising?  Is it because I am stubborn and unwilling to let Parkinsons totally take running away from me?  Or maybe it’s because on the days I am able to get out and run, I feel better both mentally and physically afterwards.  For a short while I can push back against the disease.

Regardless of which reason (or maybe because of all of them) I am pounding the roads again this year to raise funds to help children battling pediatric cancer.  With your support last year, we were able to help even more children and their families at one of the worst moments in their life.  Despite the snow and ice (yes...8 inches of snow in VA) training continues.  Slow and steady.

Next blog I’ll pass along more details on the lives we’ve touched and the smiles we created.

Till next time…..

Doing the Dopey

Those of you who followed my blog last year may recall a blog I wrote asking the question…Why had the marathon become the “in” thing to do these days?   As an example, I used the Disney World Marathon where 10’s of thousands of people sign up a year in advance and pay hundreds of dollars to spend their vacation in “the happiest place on earth” subjecting themselves to the pain of a marathon.    The rational side of me would rather stay home, save hundreds of dollars, avoid all the travel hassles and save my vacation days for something a lot less painful.   For those looking for the “marathon experience” you can always just beat your legs with a rolling pin for an hour.

In reality I would do the Disney Marathon in a second if I could still run that far.  Instead, I was able to experience it through my daughter who ran her first marathon at Disney a week ago.   But running a marathon was not enough, she and her husband signed up for the “Dopey”.  Aptly named, the Dopey is a series of runs starting with a 5K (3.1 miles) on Thursday morning, a 10K (6.2 miles) on Friday, a half marathon (13.1 miles) on Saturday and then a full marathon on Sunday.   Checking my calculator, that’s 48.6 miles not counting all the walking miles in the parks after the runs.  To be fair, this not race, more of a social event.  As is Disney’s style, they set it up as a whole experience with creative medals, social activities, and pictures with Disney characters along the route.  During the marathon you can even stop to ride some the rides.

While there are no Dopeys or marathons in my future I will be doing my Marathon Challenge again this year.  As long as I can move, I plan to continue the programs to help children with cancer.  More on the “Help in the Nick of Time” programs and the Marathon Challenge to come.

In case you are wondering….yes my daughter and her husband did complete them all, even stopping for pictures and stopping for a ride in the park.  I’m very proud of them.  They got the medals and experience; I got to watch their children (I got the better deal).

It's a Family Affair

 This past week Pam and I went down to Florida to visit Pam’s 97-year-old dad.   Dick, a veteran, was also a runner up to the last decade when his knee put an end to his running.   Both my daughters ran their first road races with him when they were knee high to a grasshopper.   

While I never pushed my children to run, all of them ran in high school.    I don’t know if my running had any influence on their decision but it is something they all have carried on later in their lives and now are passing on to some of their children.    

I had hoped this year’s marathon Challenge was going to be done at the Boston Marathon but that just wasn’t to be.  The combination of a gift of leftover hardware in my body, surgery, sepsis, and an all-expenses paid trip to the ICU in the last few months made that near impossible.  Add in the impact to my Parkinson’s (illness turbo-charges symptoms) and a wife who was a voice of reason, throwing in the towel was discouraging but the right answer.

My family, who were universally behind my wife’s position, stepped up again this year to help me out.  We got together in Pennsylvania where my daughter’s families live and they joined me in an effort to complete 26.2 miles as a family.    My goal was to jog/walk half the marathon distance and have the other half completed by family.  As it turns out, altogether we covered almost 100 miles with three of my grandchildren (ages 7,13,13) doing a full 13 miles with me.  My father-in-law even contributed a mile remotely making it a 4-generation effort.    

With another year in the books, I want to thank everyone for all the support and kind words that helped me make my Help in the Nick of Time goal and Marathon Challenge possible.   The children and families it will help send their thanks as well.   Finally, a special thanks to all my family members for putting up with me through this year’s efforts.  Love you all.

Stay safe and God willing I’ll be back next year.

 

Running for the Children

 While many of us have been touched by cancer, most of us can’t begin to imagine what it’s like to be a family with a child fighting cancer.   Bringing a little joy and support to them during the tough times has been the goal of Help in the Nick of Time. This is a story of one of those cancer patients we touched.

Connor was 12 when he was diagnosed with cancer.  A passionate hockey player (goalie) and a member of the local baseball team, his life changed overnight to a life of injections, IV’s, surgery, chemo, radiation, and transfusions.    To get the specialized help he needed he had to travel away from home staying over 200 days during the next year at a Ronald McDonald’s House near the hospital.   During that time Connor would face rounds of chemo (82 treatments), radiation, transfusions, and testing, and in the process losing a third of his body weight.   But a measure of a person’s character is not just surviving the fight but how they fight.  In this case Connor would be considered a world heavy weight champion.  Not only did he keep a positive attitude, he made a positive impact on the people around him, including his hospital staff and other cancer patients.   Described as a good friend, kindhearted and sweet hundreds of people darned red and white striped “Where’s Waldo” knee socks to show their support.  This carried over to his own family as well.  His sister wrote on Facebook “i actually have no idea how he has been so strong and not only kept my parents sane but me aswell, connor is the strongest person i know and i love him more than words itself.”  

It was well into his second year of treatment when, with your support, Help in the Nick of Time, together with One Mission, sent Connor a box of gifts with the goal of bringing a bit of joy and surprise into what can often be a daily grind of tests and treatments. 

The initial treatment for Connor’s tumor was a success but like most battles with cancer it was not a “one and done”.    Six months after coming home Conner lost his battle with cancer.  

My running and fund raising with Help in the Nick of Time is not going to cure cancer or fund breakthrough research, no matter how fast or far I run.  But I believe it’s all about offering a bit of joy and a note of caring at a time when a child and their family really needs it.

As for my marathon efforts, getting back to running has been a challenge.  Age is a soulless master and my 70-year-old body is taking longer to recover from the hospital stay than I would like. But I’m back to walking and a bit of jogging and with the help of my family we hope to complete this year’s Marathon Challenge as a team next weekend.

 

Sometime Dreams are just Dreams

 It’s April 2022 and I had just finished my marathon challenge, 26.2 miles in 4 1/2 hours over 3 days.    I have the Boston Marathon on the TV and as I’m watching the runners and  I’m reminiscing about past Boston Marathons.  I realize (duh) I’ve had been running Boston off and on for the last 40+ years, at least once every decade of my life since I was in my twenties (5 decades…wow am I old).

There’s always been a war in my brain between two personalities, the adrenaline driver “Mr. Risk-Taker” and the cautious (and boring) “Mr. Rational”.    In the adrenaline driven fog of watching the race Mr. R-T takes over, “you’ll be 70 in two years, you could do one more Boston and add another decade to your accomplishments.”   Of course, Mr. R is not going to ideally sit by, “It taken you 4 years since cancer to get to where you can run a marathon in three days there’s no way you can do complete the Boston Marathon”.

And so it begins:

Mr. R-T….You have two years to train, you can do this.

Mr. R….You can barely make half the distance today and your Parkinson’s is getting worse.    Even if you could make it, you are so slow you would be out there for 5+ hours.

Mr. R-T….You will never know unless you try.  Think about the thrill of crossing that finish line one more time.

Mr. R……There is no chance you could qualify to get in.

Mr. R-T….Maybe I can get one of Help in the Nick of Time charities to give me a number. 

You can guess who won the argument.  Fast forward a year and a half  and I’ve managed to get a coveted number for the Boston Marathon and a hotel room near the finish line (no small feat).  All that is left is the training.   While my running had progressed well for the first year, the combination of a kidney operation and the inevitable progression of Parkinson’s in the last 6 months forced a strategy rethink.  The new plan is to use a run/walk approach which would require over 6 hours to get to the finish.

The 3 training months leading up to the marathon are the critical ones.   Between the operation in January to retrieve the wayward clip in my bladder, the resulting ICU visit with sepsis and a recent fall resulting in a cracked rib, my training has suffered.  Mr. R-T believes we can still do the marathon but the doctors have advised against it.   For once Mr. R wins and I am throwing in the towel on the Boston Marathon.   Sometimes dreams are just dreams no matter how hard you try.

As I’ve said in the past, “Acceptance is not Surrender”.  I’m working on a new approach to do the marathon challenge this year and will have more on that shortly.

Thanks to all who have been cheering me on, it has meant more to me than you’ll ever know.    More to come.