Sometime Dreams are just Dreams

 It’s April 2022 and I had just finished my marathon challenge, 26.2 miles in 4 1/2 hours over 3 days.    I have the Boston Marathon on the TV and as I’m watching the runners and  I’m reminiscing about past Boston Marathons.  I realize (duh) I’ve had been running Boston off and on for the last 40+ years, at least once every decade of my life since I was in my twenties (5 decades…wow am I old).

There’s always been a war in my brain between two personalities, the adrenaline driver “Mr. Risk-Taker” and the cautious (and boring) “Mr. Rational”.    In the adrenaline driven fog of watching the race Mr. R-T takes over, “you’ll be 70 in two years, you could do one more Boston and add another decade to your accomplishments.”   Of course, Mr. R is not going to ideally sit by, “It taken you 4 years since cancer to get to where you can run a marathon in three days there’s no way you can do complete the Boston Marathon”.

And so it begins:

Mr. R-T….You have two years to train, you can do this.

Mr. R….You can barely make half the distance today and your Parkinson’s is getting worse.    Even if you could make it, you are so slow you would be out there for 5+ hours.

Mr. R-T….You will never know unless you try.  Think about the thrill of crossing that finish line one more time.

Mr. R……There is no chance you could qualify to get in.

Mr. R-T….Maybe I can get one of Help in the Nick of Time charities to give me a number. 

You can guess who won the argument.  Fast forward a year and a half  and I’ve managed to get a coveted number for the Boston Marathon and a hotel room near the finish line (no small feat).  All that is left is the training.   While my running had progressed well for the first year, the combination of a kidney operation and the inevitable progression of Parkinson’s in the last 6 months forced a strategy rethink.  The new plan is to use a run/walk approach which would require over 6 hours to get to the finish.

The 3 training months leading up to the marathon are the critical ones.   Between the operation in January to retrieve the wayward clip in my bladder, the resulting ICU visit with sepsis and a recent fall resulting in a cracked rib, my training has suffered.  Mr. R-T believes we can still do the marathon but the doctors have advised against it.   For once Mr. R wins and I am throwing in the towel on the Boston Marathon.   Sometimes dreams are just dreams no matter how hard you try.

As I’ve said in the past, “Acceptance is not Surrender”.  I’m working on a new approach to do the marathon challenge this year and will have more on that shortly.

Thanks to all who have been cheering me on, it has meant more to me than you’ll ever know.    More to come.