Saturday, February 20, 2016

Marathons are like presidential campaigns…only shorter

Image result for Run presidential campaign
In a less than lucid moment the other day I was toying with the idea that I might try an ultramarathon, a race longer than 26 miles.  Nothing crazy like 50 or 100 miles but maybe a 50K (about 31 miles).    The next day I found myself 5 miles into a 15 mile run on a 2 degree day with a 30-40 mph head wind and as I scrape the ice off my mustache and eyebrows a more rational version of myself decided to reconsider.   Instead, I decided that I should consider joining the presidential race.   
Like most candidates I built my list of pros and cons on why I would be qualified to run.
-          Like the other candidates I have the stamina to travel long distances on a regular basis.  But where they need jets and buses I can save the environment by running.

-          I can be tenacious to the point of stubbornness when I know I’m right and everyone else is wrong…which is most of the time.

-          Like the other candidates, I have strong opinions on what we need to do to fix the country but no specifics on how I would get it done

-          I’m willing to party with just about anyone so I could be right at home with both parties. 

-          I have lots of experience debating.  Frequently  it involves whether to get out of bed to go running on cold mornings or  whether to stop or keep going on long runs.  

-          Campaign stops are like water stops…you stop for a bit of refreshment, some high fives with supporters, tell everyone you’re doing great and then off again till  you reach the next one.

-          I have 4 grandchildren (and 2 on the way) so lots of experience kissing babies (and cleaning up messes).

-          I have lots of people who support my races in the past.  Why not this one?

-          I’m not much into mudslinging (but I could challenge other candidates to a Mud Run)

-          Fund raising…I don’t mind asking for money to help others.  Couldn’t get there for myself.

-          I have limited experience in politics (can’t decide if this is a Pro or Con).

-          Despite being a legend in my own mind, my ego isn’t big enough.

-          I’m not a very good liar

-          I think the Pope is a good guy

Despite the long list of Pros, and the overwhelming amount of encouragement I’ve received, I’ve decided that the race,  which will last over a year and a half, is much too much like an ultramarathon.  Instead, I’ll be sticking to shorter races like the marathon and focus my fund raising on making one small corner of the world a better place. 
I do wonder what it would be like if the presidential campaign season was limited to less than 3 months like other countries.   Since we call it a race, let’s have the  candidates compete in a Mud Run together as a way of seeing their true personalities.  Who will be the trash talkers before the race even starts.  Who would be the ones helping others over/under obstacles along the way.  Which ones would run around the mud pool, crawl through it or just throw it at others.   Which candidates have the staying power to complete the race and which ones drop out when the going gets tough.      It may not be the best way to pick a candidate but it would surely tell you a lot about them.  Worst case, it would shorten the campaign season and save a boat load of money.    

 Clearly I have too much time to think while I’m running. 
Till next time…

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