Arrogance can be Humbling

A number of years ago in one of my blogs I boldly stated that anyone could do a marathon as long as they put in the training.  I’m now living proof of how wrong I was.   Over the last 3 years I racked up over 4000 miles, consistently averaging over 100 miles a month.   It’s the first time in my life that I have run continually for that many months in a row.   Given that dedication to insanity it would be natural to believe that a marathon would be the proverbial walk in the park (pun intended).   Not even close.    In fact over the last couple of years not only have the miles gotten harder but I’ve gotten slower.     But it’s not speed that is the challenge, it’s time on your feet.   It’s an interesting conundrum, the slower you go the longer you are out pounding the pavement for the same distance.    The longer you are out there the harder it is to stay hydrated, fueled, and injury free.   At some point you’re like an engine without oil, your body just seizes up and won’t go anymore.

An astute reader might be thinking…can’t you just eat and drink along the way?  It’s a good question Captain Obvious.    If I remember my high school biology class correctly, eating draws blood to the stomach to digest the food.  Guess where that blood comes from.   Going back to my earlier car analogy, the muscles are much like the engine, they need fuel and oxygen to function.  For muscles that’s your body’s stored fuel and the oxygen from your lungs.   The oxygen takes a ride in the blood stream from the lungs to the muscles.   Either getting out of breath or reducing the blood to the muscles will ultimately cause the engine to grind to a halt. 

But enough geeking about the biology.  The reality is despite all the training over the last 3 years, I haven’t been able to get the body to go longer than a  half marathon.  It’s the reason the Marathon Challenge takes me three days.   Is it the lung damage from the chemo, the awkward running mechanics from the Parkinson’s or maybe I’m just getting old.   But the point is, it was incredibly arrogant of me to assume that everyone else had the same physical ability I had been blessed with and it was just a matter of them putting in the effort.  Sometimes wanting something and putting in the effort just isn’t enough.   Lesson learned.

Karma can be a bitch and incredibly humbling.  

Microscope VS Telescope Views

The other day I was out for a run and as sometimes happens, I was really struggling.    Overnight the hills in the neighborhood had gotten bigger, the air had gotten thicker and harder to breathe, my shoes were suddenly made of cement, and every old knee, hip and muscle injury decided it was time for a visit.    

I’m only a little over a mile into the run and that voice of self-doubt in my head (you know, the one that always reminds you of what you can’t do and gives you excuses to quit) grabs a megaphone and starts whining.  “You can’t do this.  Your too old, too sore, too cold and too stiff from Parkinson’s to continue.   Quit now before you embarrass yourself in front of the neighbors with your Walking Dead shuffle, or more likely, keel over in a culvert on the side of the road”.    At the end of these runs I’m tired, frustrated, discouraged and full of self-doubt.  How am I ever going to complete a marathon challenge when I’m struggling with just a short run?

It's easy at this point to extrapolate today’s situation into the future and to lose hope.   It’s like looking through a microscope at your current situation being so focused on the difficulties of this moment you miss the big picture.  

So what is the big picture for me.  It’s remembering it’s not about running a marathon, or completing a marathon challenge or even making it through another day of running.   It’s about helping children fighting cancer and inspiring others to join me in the effort.    

But maybe,  if I could find the right words to show the impact that Help in the Nick is having on the lives of these children and their families then maybe my running would become irrelevant to inspiring others.  Imagine a child, ripped away from their family and friends for months at a time, sometimes hundreds of miles from home.   Endless daily treatments that involve being tested, stuck and prodded, often left feeling nauseous, tired and in pain.   Worst of all, the fear that there is no end in sight and maybe no cure.   There is nothing more heart rending than a child asking “Mommy, am I going to die”.   Bringing just a small amount of hope, joy, distraction and laughter into their lives is making a world of difference.  

So for now, running is my tool.  On the bad days I try to remind myself to focus on the big picture and what it means to a struggling child and their family.   If you wish to join me you can sign up for the Miles for Smiles Virtual Run/Walk at:

https://raceroster.com/events/2023/72063/miles-for-smiles

or donate to Help in the Nick of Time at:

https://secure.etransfer.com/eft/flexblockcode/donation1.cfm?d2org=ECCF&d2tool=HelpNickTimeFund

 

Thank you for all the support.

For now, enough running my mouth, back to using my feet.